Why I Think You Should Let Yourself Be Bad For Fun

As an adult I’ve carried this idea that I should be good at everything that I do. I don’t necessarily need to be the best at things, but I like being good at them, and I haven’t always been willing to continue with things I’m not immediately decent at. There are, of course, things that must be done well - it’s important for me (and my client’s!) to be  a skilled, evidenced-based clinician, it’s important that doctors and pilots are good at their jobs, it’s important to know how to operate a vehicle safely if you drive. There’s plenty of things we need to try to be good at, but not everything is that deep. 

Take skating, for example.

This winter, I started going to the local rink to go skating with my partner. The last time I had skated before this winter was 2019 - and even then, it had been years since I had skated.  Despite this, when I laced up my skates this year I expected that I would be able to skate well. Spoiler: This was absolutely not the case. Being a decent skater in my pre-teens did not mean that I was going to be good at skating in 30s. Who knew? I remember joking that if there was a skating aid tall enough for me to use, I would have benefitted from it. Honestly, I debated stacking a few on top of each other to make one tall enough for me to use.

That first time we went to the rink, I only lasted 30 minutes before muscles I don’t regularly use were protesting. I felt guilty that I couldn’t skate as long as other people, that I was slowing my partner down, that I was so unsteady I needed help to make it a loop around the rink. To top it off, I was the only adult wearing a helmet. I felt silly, even though I knew I was doing the right thing by protecting my head. 

If going to the rink wasn’t something my partner liked to do, I don’t know that I would have gone back to keep trying. A big reason I did go back was my partner assuring me that I would get better with time, and I was absolutely not going to let a bunch of six year olds be better at skating than me without a fight.  Update: they’re still better than me, and I’m okay with that.

It’s been a few skates now, and I’m still learning how to stop efficiently. At first that frustrated me. I couldn’t help but compare myself to the young skaters who made it look so easy, and how silly it must look to be learning to skate at this age.  But then I realized something important: Why does it matter if other people are better at skating than me? I’ve never played hockey, I’ve never skated with regularity, and some of those kids have probably spent more hours on skates than I have in my entire life, of course I’m not as good as them. I don’t need to be a better skater to enjoy it, why should it matter if other people are better? 

My breakthrough moment came the last time I went skating. If I could focus on being present, acknowledging that inner narrative and letting it go, I found I was actually having a lot of fun. Being mindful and present released a lot of the pressure I felt to be good at something without having put in the effort to be good at it yet. Do I look a little ridiculous? Maybe, but I’m learning, and getting a bit better, and I’m having fun. I don’t need it to be anything more than that. 

Allowing yourself to be bad at something can teach you to let go of judgement both towards others and yourself. It can also teach you to appreciate the joy in an activity simply for the joy of doing it. Giving yourself permission to be bad at something can also remind us enjoying something is not proportionate to your skill level.

In a society that places significant value on productivity and efficiency, maybe choosing to do something you enjoy, even if you’re bad at it, is a quiet rebellion. That you’re worthy of taking up space without having to be excellent at something. Maybe being bad at something like skating is a way to reinforce that you deserve to have joy even if it isn’t “productive” or you’re “bad” at that thing. 

One of my favourite quotes is by G.K. Chesterton: “if a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly”.  This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t put in effort, but that if something is worth doing it’s better to do it poorly than to not at all. 

Is this true of everything? Of course not, there are always exceptions and nuance. But if something brings you joy, health, happiness, or connection, then maybe being bad a it is better than not doing it at all.

So, I encourage you: go out and be bad at something just for fun. Lessen some of the pressure to be perfect and let yourself enjoy the process. My wish for you is to not let your joy be diminished by not being the best at the things you love, and to enjoy being bad at something.